


Fairies and Swans

by Little_Cello



Series: Complaints [4]
Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 02:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Cello/pseuds/Little_Cello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>More complaints, slightly one-sided this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fairies and Swans

**Author's Note:**

> And again, a little cracky summary of what has been going on at [Lifein1973](http://lifein1973.livejournal.com/) lately, in terms of fics. Concentrating on the whumpy side of it still, since this started out as a summary of the whump!bingo. In order to fully understand all references, I suggest you head over there and have a read through all the wonderful things recently submitted there. :)

 

“Yer awfully quiet today.”

 

“...”

 

“Didn't quite catch that, Tyler.”

 

“... throat.”

 

“What was that?”

 

“... bastard.”

 

“Ya'll have to speak up a bit Dorothy, can't hear ye over my own brea– _augh_!”

 

“Hah.”

 

“Oh but you can laugh alright, can ya!”

 

“...”

 

“I'll wipe that grin right off yer face, you cheeky lil' twat.”

 

“Oi –“

 

“What? What're you pointin' at? … oh for – “

 

“... bloody hell.”

 

“More like drippin' hell! This is worse than the one that got me all soppy and soft and bloody well livin' together with ye! What's that 're-babbling' shite they're talkin' about? And why the hell do they own a Gene Hunt cup and I bloody don't?!”

 

“...........”

 

“... cat got your tongue, Tyler?”

 

“...”

 

“Roll yer pretty little eyes all you want, _I'm_ off to do somethin' about this mess. Time we put an end to it.”

 

“...! Gene... wait...!”

 

“What is it now?!”

 

“New one.”

 

“Oh no, I'm not lookin'. Ye can keep your mind-scarring shite to yerself.”

 

“...”

 

“A no's a no, Tyler! And if you don't let go of me coat right that instant I'll take that 'and of yours and shove it down yer throat so that – ...”

 

“.......”

 

“Then again, no fun in that either, innit. Chrissake, alright, I'll take a look.”

 

*

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“... guv?”

 

“... so, let me get this straight. Basically, I go down because someone's got a picture of –“

 

“...”

 

“... a picture of – “

 

“... yeah.”

 

“... right. I have my limits, and those limits have been pushed beyond bloody limit.”

 

“Hang on, guv – ---?!”

 

“I don't care how mangled your pretty little swan neck already is, Margery. Now tell me before I give ye another pretty mark right there, why would you _possibly_ have wanted me to see this abomination?”

 

“----!!”

 

“I would never, _ever_ , let anyone blackmail me over anythin', least of all... _that._ You gettin' all that down alright, Tyler?”

 

“----!!!!”

 

“Good! Now get out of me sight, I got some nickin' to do.”

 

“G-guv --- no --- wait ---!”

 

“I'm not fallin' for that again.”

 

“G—Gene—!”

 

“What?!”

 

“-- didn't --- I mean --- urk --”

 

“... y'know, never thought I'd say this, but it's actually rather annoying havin' to pull each word out of your snotter. Get that throat fixed soon, will ya.”

 

“...”

 

“What? What're you lookin' at me like that for?”

 

“.....”

 

“Oh for – Alright, alright. You're a right bloody hero fer survivin' the strangling long enough for the Gene Genie to come and save yer sorry arse. There, happy now?”

 

“.........”

 

“Christ, can't ever satisfy ye. Bloody picky-pain.”


End file.
